The Roller Coaster Ride of a Lifetime

March 13, 2013

It’s a roller coaster here.  We have our highs and lows, but overall, we are doing well.  Yesterday, Tuesday, we had a meeting at the Civil Affairs office to complete Evie J’s adoption paperwork and apply for her passport.  Evie J was required to attend the meeting with Bryan and I.  This proved to be a challenge resulting in a setback in what progress we had made in her adjustment and our attachment.   Our meeting was in the exact room that we met her on Monday and the orphanage director who brought her to us was present.  She recognized the room and it was very obvious that she missed the comfort of the orphanage director.  Evie J cried almost continuously during our time there, however the orphanage director came to hold her and calm her twice.  Evie J was completely content and quiet in her lap and had no interest in returning to me.  When it came time to leave, we had to take Evie J from the orphanage director and the crying and moaning began once again.  It literally broke our hearts. 

Yesterday started really well.  Evie J slept well the first night with us and then ate a great breakfast.  We found that she loves millet congee, fruit and hot soy milk.   She seemed content and enjoyed her food.  She also liked watching Brycen, Finn and Bennett swim in the hotel pool.  She loves walking while holding my finger.  Wherever I go, she goes.  She rarely lets me out of her sight and no more than two feet away.  We are doing our best to get her to nap at her typical 2pm time, however we are only successful if I hold her.  As soon as I move, she wakes.  Our meeting was at 3pm, and the rest of the day was rough.  Evie J’s sadness is hard to watch, so we just comfort her to our best ability.

Last night, Evie J fell asleep in my lap in the room where our boys and my mom are sleeping.  I moved her from the chair to the bed where Bennett was lying.  We stayed there until 4:30pm, when she woke up to go to the bathroom and then refused to return to bed.  We stayed on the couch and Bryan came in to keep us company.  He is feeling so much better since his virus.  Evie J has yet to get comfortable with Bryan.  Yesterday she would cry when he came in the same room.  Early this morning at 4:30, she was not happy that he was with us, but I believe she was too sleepy to fight it. 

Today, Wednesday, was much better.  During the morning, Evie J, my mom and I joined some of our group to a trip to Walmart (yes, a Chinese Walmart) and a local market.  We picked up a few snacks at Walmart to hold us over until we leave for Guangzhou (on Friday), along with a stroller.  Finally, a stroller and she loves it!  This stroller is to get us through the trip and then I have a feeling it will be donated.  After our morning of “shopping,” Bryan and I took our kids for a walk.  It is still so funny to see how sales people will come out of their stores and people passing us on the sidewalks will stop to look at our boys and take photographs with them.  They all strike up conversations with us, but of course they quickly realize that we do not know Chinese.  This does not stop them from chatting!  Now with Evie J, some are confused as to why we have a Chinese daughter and others, we believe, understand that she is adopted.  All are very kind and friendly.

On our walk back to our hotel, we ran into one of the other families here adopting an adorable little girl.  They have four boys, and brought their oldest, Matteo, with them to China.  My boys have fallen in love with Matteo!  So, the boys played for while in the hallway, which led to an impromptu playdate with several other children of the families that we are travling with.  Evie J watched them play and giggle, and then IT happened!  SHE SMILED!!!

Evie J smiled yesterday with my mom and Brycen, but I had not seen her smile.  She is very quiet and shy, not smiling often.  But after tonight, I am confident that she has many many smiles in her future!  What a relief!  We watched her continue to smile as she held my finger and pulled Brycen around by his finger.  Brycen has been dying for her to like him.  He knows to be patient, but of course he is quick to love and has a hard time waiting for her to love him.  In the midst of her smiles, Brycen reached out for her and she fell into his arms allowing for him to briefly hold her.  LOVE!!!  Now, Finn is on a mission for her to like him. J  I know she will show him soon.

Bryan and Evie J still have some bonding to do.  I can tell he gets frustrated, but we know this is very common.  It will not be long before she realizes she has a wonderful Daddy with more love to give than she could ever imagine. 

The roller coaster continues.  After yesterday’s lows and today’s highs, we ended our night with lots of crying at bedtime.  The language barrier is really a challenge during these tough times because she’s talking while crying.  It’s difficult to know exactly what she wants but her actions speak very loudly.  Last night and tonight, when it’s time for bed, she wants to leave the room.  This is so heartbreaking because we know she misses her foster family.  We can tell that they took very good care of her, and to watch her mourn their loss is agonizing.

I want to end this post on a positive note.  Our love for Evie J grows daily.  We look at her and cannot believe she is ours.  God has truly blessed our family with a special little girl.  All we want for Evie J is for her to feel loved, wanted, protected and secure with our family.  We were physically and mentally prepared for this roller coaster, and with God’s help, we’ll end the ride with big smiles!